Hey, guys, I’m back. I wanted to talk about a loss I experienced. About two months ago, back in early December of 2018, I had to end my relationship with my best friend, Tia, due to unwanted and unneeded drama. She, now being my Ex-best friend, has multiple mental disabilities such as depression, PTSD, anxiety, and OCD, and hasn’t really taken control of any of them, so she wasn’t in good mental health from the beginning of the friendship.
When I ended the relationship we had been best friends for a little over two years and three months and we had gone through hell and heaven together, we had grown closer to each other through what we went through together and so it was hard to tell her I had to end it with her. I had a hard time letting go of the relationship and be done with it. Tears have come not all at once but in bits and pieces little by little which is good because it means I am slowly moving on and letting go of her piece by piece and moving on in my life. I still cry a little about it once in a while but I know that I will keep doing that until I have fully moved on and left her and our relationship far behind me.
The way it happened was about a year ago my best friend told me she had started to develop feelings for me and was beginning to like me as more than a friend. I told her that I had had a crush on her when we first became friends but that I didn’t act on it and ignored it so that it passed. I also told her to try the same thing because I no longer felt that way about her and that I didn’t want to be with her.
Then again this past November she told me her feelings for me had only gotten stronger and that she wanted to go out with me and try dating each other. I told her I needed time and space to think but two days later she said she missed me so we hung out again. Shortly after that, she told me that she didn’t want me going out with a coworker who asked me out on a date and she wasn’t going to support me in my decision to say yes but I did manage to coax support out of her though.
After that, in Late November, she told me she no longer wanted to be friends with me. I asked her why and she said couldn’t do it anymore because she wasn’t finding any attraction in the friendship anymore. I told her that I was okay with that and I would be moving on. Several days later she told me she wanted to be friends again and she blamed it on “struggling with her PTSD” so I told her I had started moving on, which she was okay with. Again in early December, she said she wanted to get back together so I said we should wait till after Christmas and New Years. She said she was okay with that and we agreed to find another time.
She then proceeded to block me on all social media and so I texted her and told I was ending the friendship for several reasons that I won’t go into now. I also found a way to block her on Facebook and Messenger. I blocked her cell number as well because I knew she would try again and I didn’t want to deal with that.
So that’s the story of how I lost my best friend. It’s been hard to be without her so far but I know I’ll move on and I’ll make it through because I can trust God to get me to the other side. It’s going to hurt and it feels like a piece of me is gone but I’ll leave her behind and get past it soon if I keep moving ahead in my life. I just have to trust God to carry me through this stage and season in my life. (If you’re reading this, Tia, I’m sorry and I will always love and miss you but I can no longer be friends with you because of the way you act and treat others and being friends with you would make it look like I was okay with the way you do things. I can’t accept the things you do to others and the things you say as a right or a good thing.)
So that’s everything I feel comfortable sharing about that. Well anyway, Bye-bye. See ya. Later Alligator. G2G. Got 2 go. Hasta La Vista. Hasta Lasagna. Salut.